It's been a pretty hectic week for me with my exams on last tuesday, thank God its over for now...hope I pass this, then I will have 5 more papers to go. Still thinking whether I should sign up for the next 2 papers in Sep...hmm kinda tired plus the study/ exam leave is over, gotta utilise my annual leave for exams and study if I do take those papers...(ishh canne nak holiday end of year)...
After the exams, heard my cousin was in a critical stage, my dad left for Penang immediately but I couldn't leave as I have been away from the office for the past two days...my work has been pilling up also since I have been on 4 days MC on&off this mth..yeah so I went to work yesterday dgn hati x tenteram, all the other cousins made their way to Penang tuesday night & wesnesday morning..and I was afraid to take leave considering the amt of MCs and study leave taken plus I wud be away 2 days on leave and 2 days training next week...hmmm and the pilling work..remember...sigh..
Thirdly it was my boss farewell lunch & the CRO said its combined with division lunch..I had to be around..i wasn't the last time(london trip) ... So I yeah I was around this time... But with some kinda guilty feeling...
As expected Abg Feroz passed on at 3pm, 28/7/10...Al-fatihah...(papa had called the night before saying he was going downhill and they had expected it) ...the burial was after Isyak, i thot it was immediately but there was some delay...I went to my boss (CRO now) ard 6+pm and told him I wanted to go to Penang...he was like yeah sure...baik kan...(he juz gave me some assignment an hr before, n I hv a feeling he doesn't remember that I would'nt be in the office next week)...that's 'working from home code' for me lah...gotta deliver! ...sendri mau seda la kan..altho I hate doing offc work at home!
Although tak sempat see my cousin for the last time...but being around family helps I guess for family support..i'll juz remember him the way my last memory box remembers him...we weren't close probably the age gap factor but its really sad loosing another cousin bro below the age of 40...
Yeah so...I'm in Penang since 1am last nite...gotta get back to offc 2mrw for some unfinished business..nak tak nak...have to balik KL today..so tired...
P/s: Err sempat mkn nasi kandaq beratur at Jln Kapitan Keling, near bapak tok's shop & Masjid Kapitan Keling at 2am... oppssss! And I had coke too...double oppss!
Hectic rambles
Am I on retirement mode?
Psychometric profiling @ Work...
My “D” was at the highest scale i.e. at 7, what is D you might ask...its “Dominance” --> This person emphasizes on shaping the environment by overcoming opposition to accomplish results.
This person’s tendencies include:
-Getting immediate results [yes!!]
-Causing action [depends on the work too]
-Accepting challenges [yeahhhh]
-Making quick decisions [true!]
-Questioning the status quo [yupp]
-Taking authority [only when necessary…]
-Managing trouble [only when there’s no one else to do it..hehe]
-Solving problems [this I do]
This person drives in an environment that includes:
-Power and authority
-Prestige and challenge [true true true]
-Opportunities for individual accomplishments [exactly!]
-A wide scope of operations
-Direct answers [yeah don’t beat around the bush, I don’t have time for it!]
-Opportunities for advancement [of course!]
-Freedom from control and supervision [definitely, like I so don’t need it!]
-Many new and varied activities [the more the merrier!]
This person needs other’s who:
-Weigh pro’s and con’s
-Calculate risks [like I don’t do enough? Hmm]
-Use caution
-Create a predictable environment
-Research facts
-Deliberate before deciding
-Recognize the needs of others
To be more efficient this person needs:
-To receive difficult assignments [yup..I need challenge!]
-To understand that they need people
-To base techniques on practical experience [of course!]
-To receive and occasional shock
-To identify with a group
-To verbalize reasons for conclusions [this is true – learning from my previous bosses, everything has to be clear and documented!]
-To be aware of existing sanctions
-To pace self and relax more. [I thought I relax a lot? but good to know! =)]
Well the "C" stands for “Conscientiousness” -->Emphasis is on working conscientiously within existing circumstances to ensure quality and accuracy. No need to elaborate on this, it was a 5 on the scale of 1 to 7.
My “I - Influence” & “S - Steadiness” was the lowest...Which was kinda expected since I don’t do much talking / chatting / mingling around the office.
As for the creative pattern (the mix of D & C)
Emotions: accepts aggressions; restrains expression
Goal: dominance, unique accomplishments
Judges others by: personal standards; progressive ideas for accomplishing tasks
Influences others by: ability to pace development of systems and innovative approaches
Value to the organization: initiates or designs changes
Overuses: bluntness; critical or condescending attitude
Under pressure: becomes bored with routine work; sulks when restrained; acts independently
Fears: lack of influence; failure to achieve their standards
Would increase effectiveness through: warmth; tactful communication; effective team cooperation; recognition of existing sanctions.
This results can change each time you take the test, but for me, at the moment, it describes me almost perfectly! Well those who knows me well enough, you'd know which trait fits me well...
Confirm! Happy!
& I'm going on a Holiday next month...can't wait...!
I am Happy! :)
The one with the Women Bosses...
Gabby: I have another interesting topic for your blog Shaz: DO WOMEN MAKE GOOD BOSSES?
My answer is hell no!!
Shaz: And why is that? I’d like to think I make a good boss someday.. :D
But yeah, I prefer the guy bosses…
Gabby: Because women are emotional creatures!! If they had a rough morning, you’re a goner! If they didn’t get laid last night, you’re a goner! If they kena marah ngan laki depa earlier that day, you’re a goner! If she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you’re a goner! If she just feels like being a bitch that day, you’re a goner!! Need I say more?
Myzara: Heyyyyyy im a good boss tau!!!! But its not easy to be a boss!! Each one of them expect different things from u..so nak puas kan hati everyone its imposible!!
Shaz: Erm..so ur saying that if u become the boss one day, this is how you’ll be?
Gabby: I honestly don’t know. I’d like to say ‘no’ that I won’t be like that but sigh..this scares me..imagine a female boss with PMS..oh dear god!!. Myzara.. You’re perhaps 1 in 50 la kot Myzara..the ones I’ve encountered is..well..I think I shall bleep out the word…lolss!
Shaz: Gabby… I don’t want to be that, I can try not to be that & I think I am not that…but you can only know when you’re a boss…
But one thing’s sure, if I am in a bad mood they’d better know to stay away from me, but then again, if I am angry at a certain someone, not necessarily the other person is gonna get it, I think I know how to switch on and off too..but I can’t be too sure!
Gabby: That’s exactly what I’m saying. Women are unpredictable creatures. They’re emotional. It just takes something small to trigger the ‘BITCH ALERT’..
Myzara: Im not like that at all..if aku had a very bad morning I won’t let it out to my staff..but I’ll let ot out kat my hubby!!! Hahahahah!!!
Gabby: That’s no good either. Men are different. They have the ability to leave their problems at the door the minute they step into office. It’s a good thing to not have too much feelings oso la kan?
Shaz: I have had a few women bosses, some are good n some aren’t, but they do have mood swings and all that, when they’re good, they’re really really nice, when they’re bad, gosh…from the scary face, the tantrums, the screaming to staff and the extra workloads comes in…they are good in passing on their stress to others, like it’s contagious! hahaha
Gabby: Precisely my point..so bottom-line is: WOMEN DO NOT MAKE GOOD BOSSES.
Shaz: Well, we will just have to learn that ability that men have about leaving their problems & feelings at the door when they step into the office and work it! We’ll have to learn to be a professional, we can just let feelings overtake us…it’s not good for women and our jobs.
I think those who realize the importance of this makes a good boss – women boss..not all women bosses are a bit*hes! Not fair!
Myzara: Yaaa..it not fair at all!!!
Gabby: The ones I’ve encountered so far didn’t impress me one bit..semua garang macam singa when they’re stressed!
Myzara: Same here..I know how to control it..I’m doing sales lg byk strees..from my bosses la..staff la..target la.. etc etc..the pressure I just can’t describe through words..but I only will marah the person yg patut kena saja...I won’t suka2 let go my anger to everyone..have to respect depa juga la..tp sapa yg buat salah..they’ll know la nnt!!
Shaz: Yeah I agree, when sometimes when we are nice, staff can sit on our heads, sometimes we have to show them who’s boss too..and if they deserve the scolding, hey..they juz deserve it!
Myzara: Yaaaa…kadang2 sampai rasa nak bg sepak to all these *** b**t*rds!!!! And I’ll get very fast irritated if they ask me stupid question yg anak aku pun tau jawap!!
Anyway so just hope that you all will be a good boss…you know that what type of boss that you all dok maki semua selalu..so if you be a boss one day don’t be like the boss that you always maki tuh cause u know nnt ur staff will do & feel the same way like you..
This conversation is based on our 6-8 years experience in the working world...I'm sure there are good women bosses out there too. I have been under a few women bosses and I have adapted well with them, off course there are those occasional tantrums too but no that bad, you can say it's expected!. There are those scary women bosses around too, thank God I never had to report to them, well looking at those kinda bosses makes me realize that I don't want to be that. I'd like to think I would make a good boss someday, insyallah.
Just thinking, if a guy were to have posted this I'm sure all the gurls out there would give him hell, but it's ok for gurls to post and talk about it hahaha! Just like when Arif told me (after calling me fat) that "it's ok for fat people to call fat people Fat!" anyone else did it...they would get hell! huhu
Ranting for the week!
Am I over reacting…I don’t know...but here’s what happened this week…I had verbally asked to take leave for last Monday & Tuesday a week earlier, but I said, we will see if that important meeting can get cleared by that week, than I will take it…so the meeting was over on Thursday and no pending issues, therefore I told him that I was gonna be on leave the following Monday & Tuesday. He even asked me again before leaving on Thursday, since he says he might be on EL on Friday, and I told him, yes I will be on leave...he said “OK”. My mistake was that I forgot to key into the system! (I admit, I’m wrong here, but it’s not a big deal for the ppl here, as far as I have observed for the past 4 mths that I’m here).
So come Monday, me realizing that I forgot to key into the system the leave, I sms-ed him “B, I’m on leave today & tomorrow but forgot to key in the system. Will do when I get back” – note that this has been verbally cleared the week before. I was just reminding and informing that I forgot to key in the system and the sms was sent at 7.52am. All ok here I thought…
Next thing I know…I check my webmail from home to see that he has sent out the following to the big B’s:
“Dear All, Please be informed that Shaz has just informed me (through SMS) that she will be on annual leave today and tomorrow “
What the hell? Just informed? Something is really wrong with the guy! Even if I just informed shouldn’t you try cover me as I am your staff! But the point is I asked for in a week in advance and that email pissed me off…and the '2nd level B' responded
“Pls have a word with Shaz. Annual leave to be submitted at least 3 days before going on leave. Thanks”
It made me look bad…it was unnecessary…I kept quiet, thought about it, and when I went back to the office, I responded to the email, although partly my fault for not keying in the system, I have never had a the B that would do such a thing to a staff when he damn well knows I had informed him earlier! I’m glad I did respond, at least he knows that I’m not gonna sit around and let him push me around as he likes.
Then he called me to the meeting room and explained things that happened the last 2 days…& about the leave thing, he said he doesn’t want to have a tiff over a small matter and that he did word it as “annual leave” instead of “EL” and that the '2nd level B' who asked him to send the email out. ! And he was making excuses saying the big B was looking for me and some workings and all, which he didn’t know about (yeah being a B, why didn’t he know? – think for yourself…a B not knowing a new staff’s work? Can’t hold the fort for 2 days?). Anyway he even sms-ed me to get the files of workings and all that morning…Which was in the shared drive anyways…
I was thinking so what? You didn’t have to put in that I just sms-ed! All he had to do was say I was on leave, full stop! It was purposely putting me in a bad light, somehow to save his @ss, make the focus shift…whatever!
So you know…I don’t like my new B, I have never had this kind of petty problems with my previous the B’s, this looks like it’s gonna be a problem...
Anyway today being the last day of work before Eid and all, I was thinking maybe I could leave early, say 4pm or so, but guess what! When I came in, I saw an email from the B stating that he was leaving at 3.30pm! Isn’t that just plain unconsidered! I am the one celebrating, why can’t he just think to let me go off early, now I have to stay after 5pm to do the end of day work...Because its either one of us that has to do it!
It’s a pity, I like the place, the environment, the people, but I don’t like the B, so I won’t be long here, I can feel it…but if he goes first, then I’ll rethink!
Small things, petty things, but I’m just uncomfortable already…I know I’m too much…but I had better the B’s before, ohh well, I’ll try adjust, another 5 months the bond is lifted and I’m free to go, if I still feel this way…
SkyBanking OOTP: Supporting from Ground
the typing test
You type 292 characters per minute
You have 49 correct words and
You have 2 wrong words
ohh yeah...I'm that free today...month end...no reports...just wait till next week when the reports starts kicking in...until then, I'm free! I did ask for additional work from the CRO, he asked me if what I was doing i.e. workload was enough, I told him its not, and he fears that I might get bored (which I am already!), so he says he will assign me to an on-going project under Retail Credit Risk as they can use my analytical background, cool...get to learn new things! some say I'm a workaholic...I guess better that than LLB - Look Like Busy! You don't learn anything LLB-ing other than improving your acting skills...:)
more on daily adventure...
Well nothing else on work, my bosses are nice, so far, they have not really given me a real task, I'm still reading all the materials, and understanding reports, I guess I am to come up with what's to be done, I really hope I can perform to my best here. Something that did scare me though this morning, What if I don't meet their expectations? Gosh it's a scary thought, as it is, I was the youngest and the only gurl in the meeting room...but of course being me, I was cool the whole time :)(ye ker..hmm..)
Well, its been two weeks here, and I got my name card, my cop, my pay (half month only, don't get ideas) & my tag, hey that's fast!
young or old?
So I’m the only one feeling like I’m old while others that look at me actually think I’m younger…cool huh..maybe it’s because I’m wearing braces! But whatever, it made my day…
Back to feeling old, I’m 28 (and never been kissed..like that movie u know :))or been in any relationships, it gets me thinking, will I ever get married? Like...most of my friends are married with two kids max or at least one…do I wanna get married? Yes to Mr. Right, do I want kids? Yes of course, I have not met "the person" yet, and sometimes it makes me sad when people who see me or some of my friends and instantly make comments like we are so choosy (memilih) when they get to know that we are single. What can we do if there's no eligible ones that approach us? haih...stop judging us...why don't you help us instead...? (Although it's pretty scary to us, but it's better than just doing nothing and judging us and our lifestyle)
But it’s not like I don’t go dating, actually I have been on several blind dates, hmm 6 to be exact, every year 1 since I started working, but none of them even made it to becoming friends with me after meeting me, I keep blaming my appearance for that…some people say it might not be it, it could be my body language, my level of education or maybe I am just not ready to be friends with anyone! (isn’t that like sombong? nope that’s not it).
What am I to do if they don’t call me after the meet up or if they pretend not to know me, it’s very de-motivating, it really does hurt.
Recently I was told to respect people’s choices and eat more crabs…now what’s with the crabs? Raja & Noria changes our perspective on the dating game, well I hope it works though (even though I'm almost giving up in the dating game)...Another story for another day perhaps?
xoxo!! good night
my NEW daily adventure
What was great was that the pc and place, telephone and all kinds of access was ready when I joined yesterday, I didn't have to sit around and wait like I did the last time (waited for 2 weeks to get a pc and another few weeks for access of systems)...yes everything is being compared to the previous organization...well since its my second job..I can't help it :)
And there's this gurl, she's helping me get to know the place and all, she's really young (which makes me feel old!), talks a lot, have lots of stories and is really cheerful...its a good thing I'm hanging with her... she invites me out to lunch and introduces colleagues from other departments, I really appreciate it, especially since I'm not the type that's easy to mingle or start a conversation with people..really I thank god she's there!
So... I was describing the my office to Su, about how cool the place looks and how it feels like I'm sitting in the garden with the nice view and fountain out the glass window...she told me to take a picture...so I did with my hp camera, since I was segan to take out the real camera...hehe so here it is...juz from my view while siting at my place...
it's not a room..just a cubicle in this large settings..it feels like I'm under the trees...:)

anyway...the job covers the whole of market risk, which is a good thing since I have covered both trading (Traded Market Risk) and non-trading (Asset Liability Management) previously, but what's similar here is that its highly manual work...so much human intervention, spreadsheets after spreadsheets, so this is what I'm doing at the moment, studying them all, and trying to find a better solution I hope...and there's other things like setting policies and methods and stuff like that...I hope I can make a difference there...wish me luck!
Hangging out with X-RMD-ianz
Thanks to all who could make it...it was great..but there were only 2 or 3 singers..so it was tiring! ahaha
Group picture of those who attended...
Thanks again! we will definately keep in touch...I hope :)
Farewell Lunch from RMDianz...
Here's some group pictures..
It was a pleasure working with all of them...hope to bump into them anytime in the future...really great colleagues...
lesson learnt...
Uncle M: Dear SHAZ, All the best to you and have a good BREAK before you start. NAK PI MANA 14 HARI???
SMZ:Thanks…I’m going to Singapore from 1st to 4th of May, and then no plans till I start on the 12th… Can’t do anything much, the bank is taking back my advance bonus given in Dec 08, so this month I’m working without any pay for them to recover back the 1 month bonus paid. They are disgusting..! I resigned after the financial year ending 31st Mar 09, which means that bonus, is rightfully mine for the last year performance.
and this is a good advice and nice to hear...
Uncle M: Dear SHAZ,For what they did to you, they will be answerable to ALLAAH and they will pay heavily for this….
More so if the bank is owned by a Muslim… Since the money is rightfully yours. So now you know WHY we should not slog like a dog when we work for companies – may it be ANY company.
In fact I tell my own staff always that they should NOT work 1 min more than the 5pm deadline to go home and on Saturday and Sunday unless they are PAID for the extra hours and time taken…. I make sure my staff get their bonuses even if they are leaving HALFWAY the financial year just to show that we are DIFFERENT from others and to surprise them with our way of ‘giving”…..
These are small things they will value when they experience the other side of life….
Again we ask ALLAH to make our employees benefit from what they do and we pay all our staff a commission for their sales done to others and friends. I have a clerk who earns about RM300-350.00 per month on commission…. It means, not only sales staff enjoy commission, but all so as not to deprive them of an income based on selling our products and taking the trouble to do so!!
We do things differently. Some of our staff benefits include:-
1. Interest FREE loans up to RM5,000.00 paid within 12-18 months based on their salary and affordability.
2. The above loan is applicable every 5 years after first loan. If the amount is less than 2k, then every 3 years.
3. We pay for down=payment for house loans to banks and car purchases – also INTEREST FREE.
4. We pay them MINIMUM 1 month Bonus even if we make a LOSS for that year.
5. We give all workers in the factory a FREE Annual PAID Holiday for them and their Family to any Malaysian destinations including Insurance coverage and pocket money. (Only applicable to those production operators and supervisors earning below 1K).
6.We give them RAYA Money based on what we can give – maybe 100-200 per worker during their own festive celebrations.
7. For HARI RAYA we give them extra 4 days FREE HOLIDAYS to make the closure a full 1 week with the 4 days weekends making it a full 9 days off over and above the 2 days of Public Holidays. (ONLY for HARI RAYA AIDIL FITHRI).
8. For those who work on Saturdays or Sunday (especially for the exhibitions and Fairs) we pay them RM100.00 per day for ANY staff. On top of that we give them FREE Lunch and Tea.
JUST to share some of the benefits my employees get. Some of the have worked with us for more than 15 years and still going. So our staff turnover is almost ZERO. We train and re-train them always and they become smarter and smarter every year!! This is our pleasure in seeing them reaching better positions within the company. We have built for them a Surau that is fully made of wooden paneling and they always look forward to go for prayers there (Opened only from 1.00pm to 2.00pm & 4.00pm to 5.00pm – so that they don’t misuse of make it their Hotel room!!)
All our Muslim workers who join us will eventually wear the HIJAB based on their seeing what is practiced in the company and become good muslims based on the weekly “ceramah” given to then ladies during the FRIDAY 3 hour break we have ( One hour for Ceramah and 2 hours off). On Fridays, we close from 12 noon to 3 pm to allow all male employess to go home to bathe and go for prayers. The ladies can also go home but they prefer to stay back for the ‘ceramah’.
I’ve never shared this with anyone but just to tell you we have such companies in Malaysia….
nice to know that there are good companies in Malaysia and that the staff is being appreciated... I wish my next destination have at least some this quaities...
biting it & moving on...
I have to say, its really difficult doing work and performing your best when there's no motivation...they took that away (u know...HR & their stupid memo)...as much as I want to complete my work, I can't give my best, I'm really trying though...
Well...it's just another 3 weeks...I'm trying to come out with my handover list on top of completing this outstanding methodology manual for FTP (the project I didn't want to be involved in fully, but am at the moment handling)...arghhh!!
I'm boiling inside...
We received your Resignation Letter, dated 3 April 2009.
Attached forms are for your further action..bla bla bla
We reserve the right to offset such sums duly held by us to satisfy the value of any Bank property not returned by you and any monies owing to the Bank.
Please be informed that HR will withhold your last salary (April 2009) and amount due to you will be credited to your Bank Account by first week of the following month (May 2009).
Refer to memo issued by HR on ADVANCE BONUS FOR FINANCIAL YEAR 2008/09 (Ref : HR/IN/what everrrr), please be informed that
“In the event that an employee were to resign and/or be terminated from the Bank’s service prior to the payment of the final bonus for whatever reason(s), the advance bonus paid earlier would be treated as debt recoverable from the employee. The employee would have the repay the advance bonus paid before the last working day with the Bank.”
I have no intentions to complete my outstanding work, like why should I? It's not like the are paying me anything this month - obviously my pay is gonna be witheld to pay back the advance 1 month bonus (like for last years performance which I did perform!!) ...they can go to hell for all I care! Burning bridges..? maybe I am...but who started it?
I did it!
Blank document...
It’s a blank document for now, I can’t write, I’m very much de-motivated. Deadline after deadlines, all have been postponed due to reprioritization of other project and on going work. So now…how do I proceed? I have been de-motivated ever since I knew there was nothing for me at the end of the tunnel? There’s no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (well not much of a rainbow anymore)… What am I working hard for?
Another thing that has been bugging me is the fact that the identified person replacing me (because I have requested for a transfer to another team) has actually lesser work experience (2.5 years) but is given my same position with a higher pay, now…what’s wrong here? Don’t you see…I’m just not appreciated, if one person who doesn’t know anything especially on the current project can come in and demand a higher pay, why should I bother completing the documentations anymore? As I said there’s nothing left for me, for all I know, they will change the author and take my documents as theirs...I really don’t feel like completing it! But still, I want the satisfaction of completing it... (Still feeling like I shouldn’t though)
Anyway…If I were to resign today, I heard that the advance bonus given will have to be paid back? Huh!!? That’s our performance bonus for the year, which was paid in advance, and it is the end of the year already (FYE Mar 09), so why is it that we have to pay it back? As it is, the actual payout is always late i.e. in June or July, and the fact that we are letting that go should be good enough, why ask to pay back what has been paid out? What kind of mentality is this? Anyway...this I heard from a friend who just resigned…I think its total garbage to take back what has been given based on our performance for the year which has actually ended!
sigh..something's not right...
Gee what’s my problem! Get back to work Shaz...like do your own work! (Yes I’m yelling to myself)
It is what it is...
I owe it to myself to learn new things, be it different areas, products, systems etc. I felt bad letting her down as she had plans to groom me (so she says after I put in my request), but how do you do the same thing day in and day out, already feeling bored for the past few months? I am at the age that I can still afford to be bored and change my career directions as I wish. So I really hope I made the right choice, if I didn't, I pray that Allah open's another path for me, what ever is best, I am open for it right now…
I guess I'd rather enjoy myself rather than think that power is everything; it is definitely not at this juncture of my career. I was advised (by some friends – with experience) to stay away from power as long as I can, enjoy the work as it is, only accept it when I am really ready or I am forced to be ready. As the saying goes, "With power comes responsibilities" – responsibilities that I don't need at this point in time.
The reason I am putting this down is so that the next time I think that I actually regret this decision, I can come back here and refresh myself to why I did what I did.
But seriously...9 to 12 months transition?? 1 year? I'm stuck at the moment....I feel its unfair and I hate her for it.





