Talking about the recent engagement of that someone and this came up (LRM - love, relationships & marriage..) there were four in the mail conversation; Gabby, Myzara, FN & I, FN was silent all along, so here it goes...
Gabby: Hmmm..kawen duda yang kaya is definitely security for a girl for now and future..but is it real love?
Shaz: I dun believe in real love…so nope..NO! huhu
Myzara: I don’t know wat to answer..eemmmm..no komen
Gabby: You don’t? Actually I also don’t anymore. But then, how to have children if we don’t find real love? Myzara.. U no need to answer lah..hang dah kawen dah beranak pinak..nak pi honeymoon utk kali ke 127 pulak tu lagi nak kata no komen
Shaz: U can have children without love..it’s all in the niat! Niat kalo dah betul…juz maybe love will find its way..but I’m not counting on it..
Myzara: Aku sgt setuju dgn shaz..soo cleaver!!! Blum kawin tapi dia dah pandai!! hAhahahah!! The reason I said no comment is because I don’t know whether the “real love” tuh wujud x after kawin!!..each of u nnt bz kerja then bz pasai anak sometimes u’ll forget ur responsibility as a wife cause ur too bz with ur kids and ur spending more time with them..entahla..for me before marriage & after is totally 2 different feelings!!
Gabby: But Shaz, if you are not counting on it then that means you don’t believe in love and if you don’t believe in it, then love will not find you. Go and read ‘The Secret’ lah..
I want 5 kids..so I better get a move on la kan
Shaz: I can still want marriage and want kids, if loves find its way in, it’s just bonus to me!
Gabby: How can you marry someone you don’t love?
Shaz: Can..it happens all the time, grow into love or not, that’s not the reason I’m getting married, sunnah nabi, mengembangkan zuriat, so if I find someone enough to make me happy, terime je lah (depending on my state of mind at that time jugak la…I have to like the person a bit lah....
It’s also for companionship, now I dun need it yet, but when I do, it doesn’t have to be love coz & since I dun believe in it! Love doesn’t guarantee that the marriage will last either, so why bother? If you can tolerate each other its good enough. Tp hati kena terbuka la to get into this..I know I’m not there yet..I’m educating myself..huhu
What say u the people who have been married?
Gabby: I agree to a certain extend as in you gotta like the person a little bit to want to marry them..coz can be nurtured. Kalau jumpa a guy and fall head over heels in love with him lepaih tu nak kawen even better lah but I don’t think I’ll ever find that sort of love again after ‘the moron’!
My mother keeps saying “marry a guy who loves you but not someone you love”. I don’t think that’s right. That’s called ‘playing it safe’ and I won’t do that. I need to be slightly into him to want to make that big a commitment. Marriage is supposed to be for life (we pray and hope lah!) but if we don’t have any feelings for them but choose to marry them anyways, then it’s just plain selfish. By then if you have any problems, u would even bother to talk things through or work it out..coz we would have taken the guy for granted
FN and Myzara is just sitting back and watching us merepek about this topic lah..they have no comment (bak kata Myzara) hahaha!
Shaz: Heh my mum says, “marry a guy who loves you more than you love him” , playing it safe or not, the age is catching up and if you want kids, that you’ve gotta make a decision, it just boils down to what you want in life, prioritizing…but I don’t know, there’s no right & wrong about this, it’s really up the each individual lar.. Btw, if u choose to be with the guy, u can’t be selfish, you have got to make the marriage work…even ppl who loves/loved before too have to do work to make a marriage work…
Yup..they are enjoying the merepek-ing session..huhu
Gabby: Marry a guy who loves you MORE than you love him is right..not marry a guy who loves you and you don’t love him. Yes age is catching up..I gotta make a decision fast. I’m going to pursue my MBA or PhD or work some more..the rest..well..dunolah hahah!
Myzara: Off course after u kawin, u will love ur husband..so based on that love and continue ur life with him lah..in a relationship is very simple..don’t complicate it! Just do want u want..that’s all!!
Gabby: Kalau lepaih kawen pun tak love jugak, then how? Get a divorce?
Shaz: Cross that bridge when you get there, if divorce is your fate, so be it! But you shouldn’t make it an option from the beginning…
Gabby: Hmm..I’m liking the way you think and talk Shaz. You’re quite smart la after all..
Myzara: Then pasaipa taknak kawin without any love??? I mean as long as ada love in the relationship ok la..dont concentrate too much on that..there’s more important things in relationship other then real love.
The MOST important thing as husband and wife is tolerance.. whether the guy can tolerate with us or not..xdak nie..ABISSS!!!!!!! trust me!!
one of it : kita nie darah mamak..temper..so whether that guy boleh terima kita punya kepala angin or not is also very important!! In marriage bukan love saja penting tau kaa Gabby ooiiii.. there are lots of things that plays an important part in marriage life!!
Gabby: What could be more important than love?
Shaz: Pls unhook from walt Disney & all the chick flicks & look beyond it, those who were soo deeply in love are no longer in love, those who got married just because they were in love got divorced, so niat tu penting, love is there, you just have to appreciate the way or the nature of how you receive it. Not everyone gets the same romantic love story type of love, there’s a lot of other definations to it too…
Love is not everything, happiness & joy is more important, you don’t have to be in love to be happy. It’s all in the mind.
Myzara: Love saja boleh bg makan? love saja can make u happy? If there’s love but selalu dok gaduh mcm anjing & kucing macam mana?
Gabby: I know love is a lot of work. But I’ll need to love him too. Kalau he saja love me but I don’t feel the same way, then it work wont. And I wouldn’t be bothered to compromise..
Shaz: It goes back to what u want...what if there isn’t anyone out there that u cud love, then what happens? Like that story with the kid that’s suppose pick up a good grass at the field n came back with none because he thot if he walked up further, he could get a better one, but realized what he left behind was the best ones…so what the point if ur gonna be old and lonely & realize that you have wasted your life in the end when you could have at least had a chance at having a family..?
If there is a good grass along your way, pick it up and learn to love it. Its because its good that u picked it up in the first place..
Myzara: Off course-la u need to love him too tp jgn dok berangan pasai real love nie semua..it will develop by its own..u cannot be sitting down and just wait for the real love to come..as long as u ada the feeling of love towards him..ok lah..but 1st of all u have to put that “moron” out of ur mind 1st!! life have to go on..he has his own life now and so do u!!
I think I'll stop here, Love can be somewhat important but not necessarily a must, tolerance and responsibility is more important to me...Gabby's a commitment phobic I think! thinking too much...Anyone with any thoughts other than this? feel free to share! huhu
Gabby: Hmmm..kawen duda yang kaya is definitely security for a girl for now and future..but is it real love?
Shaz: I dun believe in real love…so nope..NO! huhu
Myzara: I don’t know wat to answer..eemmmm..no komen
Gabby: You don’t? Actually I also don’t anymore. But then, how to have children if we don’t find real love? Myzara.. U no need to answer lah..hang dah kawen dah beranak pinak..nak pi honeymoon utk kali ke 127 pulak tu lagi nak kata no komen
Shaz: U can have children without love..it’s all in the niat! Niat kalo dah betul…juz maybe love will find its way..but I’m not counting on it..
Myzara: Aku sgt setuju dgn shaz..soo cleaver!!! Blum kawin tapi dia dah pandai!! hAhahahah!! The reason I said no comment is because I don’t know whether the “real love” tuh wujud x after kawin!!..each of u nnt bz kerja then bz pasai anak sometimes u’ll forget ur responsibility as a wife cause ur too bz with ur kids and ur spending more time with them..entahla..for me before marriage & after is totally 2 different feelings!!
Gabby: But Shaz, if you are not counting on it then that means you don’t believe in love and if you don’t believe in it, then love will not find you. Go and read ‘The Secret’ lah..
I want 5 kids..so I better get a move on la kan
Shaz: I can still want marriage and want kids, if loves find its way in, it’s just bonus to me!
Gabby: How can you marry someone you don’t love?
Shaz: Can..it happens all the time, grow into love or not, that’s not the reason I’m getting married, sunnah nabi, mengembangkan zuriat, so if I find someone enough to make me happy, terime je lah (depending on my state of mind at that time jugak la…I have to like the person a bit lah....
It’s also for companionship, now I dun need it yet, but when I do, it doesn’t have to be love coz & since I dun believe in it! Love doesn’t guarantee that the marriage will last either, so why bother? If you can tolerate each other its good enough. Tp hati kena terbuka la to get into this..I know I’m not there yet..I’m educating myself..huhu
What say u the people who have been married?
Gabby: I agree to a certain extend as in you gotta like the person a little bit to want to marry them..coz can be nurtured. Kalau jumpa a guy and fall head over heels in love with him lepaih tu nak kawen even better lah but I don’t think I’ll ever find that sort of love again after ‘the moron’!
My mother keeps saying “marry a guy who loves you but not someone you love”. I don’t think that’s right. That’s called ‘playing it safe’ and I won’t do that. I need to be slightly into him to want to make that big a commitment. Marriage is supposed to be for life (we pray and hope lah!) but if we don’t have any feelings for them but choose to marry them anyways, then it’s just plain selfish. By then if you have any problems, u would even bother to talk things through or work it out..coz we would have taken the guy for granted
FN and Myzara is just sitting back and watching us merepek about this topic lah..they have no comment (bak kata Myzara) hahaha!
Shaz: Heh my mum says, “marry a guy who loves you more than you love him” , playing it safe or not, the age is catching up and if you want kids, that you’ve gotta make a decision, it just boils down to what you want in life, prioritizing…but I don’t know, there’s no right & wrong about this, it’s really up the each individual lar.. Btw, if u choose to be with the guy, u can’t be selfish, you have got to make the marriage work…even ppl who loves/loved before too have to do work to make a marriage work…
Yup..they are enjoying the merepek-ing session..huhu
Gabby: Marry a guy who loves you MORE than you love him is right..not marry a guy who loves you and you don’t love him. Yes age is catching up..I gotta make a decision fast. I’m going to pursue my MBA or PhD or work some more..the rest..well..dunolah hahah!
Myzara: Off course after u kawin, u will love ur husband..so based on that love and continue ur life with him lah..in a relationship is very simple..don’t complicate it! Just do want u want..that’s all!!
Gabby: Kalau lepaih kawen pun tak love jugak, then how? Get a divorce?
Shaz: Cross that bridge when you get there, if divorce is your fate, so be it! But you shouldn’t make it an option from the beginning…
Gabby: Hmm..I’m liking the way you think and talk Shaz. You’re quite smart la after all..
Myzara: Then pasaipa taknak kawin without any love??? I mean as long as ada love in the relationship ok la..dont concentrate too much on that..there’s more important things in relationship other then real love.
The MOST important thing as husband and wife is tolerance.. whether the guy can tolerate with us or not..xdak nie..ABISSS!!!!!!! trust me!!
one of it : kita nie darah mamak..temper..so whether that guy boleh terima kita punya kepala angin or not is also very important!! In marriage bukan love saja penting tau kaa Gabby ooiiii.. there are lots of things that plays an important part in marriage life!!
Gabby: What could be more important than love?
Shaz: Pls unhook from walt Disney & all the chick flicks & look beyond it, those who were soo deeply in love are no longer in love, those who got married just because they were in love got divorced, so niat tu penting, love is there, you just have to appreciate the way or the nature of how you receive it. Not everyone gets the same romantic love story type of love, there’s a lot of other definations to it too…
Love is not everything, happiness & joy is more important, you don’t have to be in love to be happy. It’s all in the mind.
Myzara: Love saja boleh bg makan? love saja can make u happy? If there’s love but selalu dok gaduh mcm anjing & kucing macam mana?
Gabby: I know love is a lot of work. But I’ll need to love him too. Kalau he saja love me but I don’t feel the same way, then it work wont. And I wouldn’t be bothered to compromise..
Shaz: It goes back to what u want...what if there isn’t anyone out there that u cud love, then what happens? Like that story with the kid that’s suppose pick up a good grass at the field n came back with none because he thot if he walked up further, he could get a better one, but realized what he left behind was the best ones…so what the point if ur gonna be old and lonely & realize that you have wasted your life in the end when you could have at least had a chance at having a family..?
If there is a good grass along your way, pick it up and learn to love it. Its because its good that u picked it up in the first place..
Myzara: Off course-la u need to love him too tp jgn dok berangan pasai real love nie semua..it will develop by its own..u cannot be sitting down and just wait for the real love to come..as long as u ada the feeling of love towards him..ok lah..but 1st of all u have to put that “moron” out of ur mind 1st!! life have to go on..he has his own life now and so do u!!
I think I'll stop here, Love can be somewhat important but not necessarily a must, tolerance and responsibility is more important to me...Gabby's a commitment phobic I think! thinking too much...Anyone with any thoughts other than this? feel free to share! huhu
8 comments:
i will only get married to a guys that loves me because of Allah, in that way insyaAllah he'll do me good and I will vice versa. One thing we must remember though, no man's love can ever compete with His love, so wouldn't it be better kalau kita simpan sayang kita pada yang Esa, instead of to a mere mortal macam kita yang prone to doing mistake etc. We must also love him because of Allah, the rest will insyaAllah be fine ;)
p/s: rase cam ceramah agama lak, but that is what I believe now. I know its hard to find rare gems, I just hope it is worth it.
Well..it's all in the niat...insyallah you will find what you are looking for...
We do everything for the Al-Mighty Allah. Marriage is complete half of Islam. And why is this quote very famous ? Because marriage is one of our Prophet Muhammad SAW (Peace be upon him) sunnah.
Marriage is not only about love. But love is one of the elements in it. And the power of love is so great that it has brought us to be what we are today. We are born because our parents love each other.
Reason of marriage : For Allah, to practise our Prophet's sunnah.
Elements (essentials) of marriage : love, tolerance, understanding, trust, patience, respect.
Outcome of marriage : Happiness, Joy, Children.
Why do people say after marriage or having a baby, the love is faded ? Often we see that happen. But it is also in Islam, that it is a wife's responsibility to take care of the HUSBAND first, then attend to the child. And it is indeed not an easy task.
For that, and if you think deeply, think deeply of our mothers, that is why, marriage is completing half of the religion.
Open your hearts, and it will come to you inshaAllah.
This is just my opinion :)
Interesting topic Shaz :)
nicely said Dora..
i agree 100% on the 'tolerance' thing.
i think that is one type of love in disguise.
:)
nice to read 'the marrieds' comments...true true true Aisyah...!
heyy i like ur friend's comment - "who am i"!! best!! it is true the niat that we nak kawin should be because of ALLAH..the rest insyallah will be fine..
-maheran-
very nice topic .......love is part of nature......all from the almighty :)
Post a Comment