Forwarded emails LoL!
By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for China .....?
Now, here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service today...
Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"
Guest: ".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we botter?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We botter?"
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."
RoomService: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
RoomService: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."
Guest: "You're welcome"
Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS' ...... and you do, don't you??!!
Tanjooberrymutts
The woman's list..
How to make a woman happy...
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
Drama minggu ini...
Fooling around with the emails in between work...I thought this was funny...
SN informed us that he is leaving the bank and gave us his alternative email add
RS: so.. berapa rim A4 paper kau dah sebat SN? pen? pensel? marker? liquid paper?? kena stock up la.. nak bukak office kat Bagan Pinang kan? :D
Nasib baik aku dah blah.. kalau tak, sure come X September, time salam perpisahan aku nangis meraung-raung... sampai pitam.. kena papah masuk meeting room.. lepas tu sedar dari pitam.. sambung nangis.. hentak-hentak kepala dekat dinding.. balik rumah minum paraquat... eh.. silap cerita pulak.. :)
anyway, all the best man.. after this I'll change your e-mail address lah.. sudah dapat tempat kerja baru/e-mail baru, jangan la segan-segan nak cakap.. all the best man ! nanti WT balik MAlaysia, dia belanja kita semua makan... hahahahah
WT: no problem for you RS..... satu paraquat ais. Kurang manis:)
SZ: What is that?
RS: Trust Shaz to spoil the smooth flow of a drama-swasta-kisah-benar flick on Bee En TV... :)
paraquat = racun rumput
SZ: And why are u having racun rumput ais?
A few minutes later…
SZ: "Ohh ok.. I get it…tgh drama…*blur* kejap!"
WT:....... this reminds me of last time in sekolah rendah playing police and thief in the padang.... after the teams have been picked...
there will be ALWAYS this one kid who says: "how come polis don't have handcuffs? what did the thief steal?" and so on.....
the kid's body has not been found to this day...... :)
SZ: Muahahahahahah what now WT? ur gonna kill me?!!
RS: After that "Ohh ok.. I get it…tgh drama…*blur* kejap!" reply, I will gladly hold Shaz down while WT straps the C4 on her.. :D
SZ: Err what C4? (irritating tak?)
RS: THAT'S IT !!! Even SN is helping me and WT now !! :)
After an hour…
SZ: Tak de sapa nak help u RS..kesian..deal with it! Hehehehhe
WT: who said tak de orang nak tolong RS... i was just busy checking googlemaps to find a place in kuala selangor to hide the body....:)
SZ: Ya ya…when there’s no one to help…come in the light n be the hero lah konon!!
SN: puncak alam site good ma….
SZ: Shah alam pun good what..with all the hoohaa there..sure no one notice…
SZ: Are u calling me FAT?
RS:macho... baca betul betul.. MACHO... kan you selalu mengaku you Macho... Shaz Macho lah.. hahahaha..
SZ: TAHU TAKUT!
RS: And you wonder why I need all those guys to help me out.. :)
SZ: Tak pe I got pepper spray…
RS: we've got goggles..
SZ: I dun believe!
RS: Serious la.. look at our picture.. but of course you can't tell which is which la.. we're wearing full face gas mask.. :) [sends an attachment]
SN: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha
SZ: Buruk giler ur pictures!
RS: alah.. dengki.. coz you didn't get one.. :D
SZ: ???!!!
Practical isn't it? :)
Well this was in the mail...some forwarded stuff about interesting signage..
~appraisal term meaning~
Forwarded stuff...which one are you? :)
Average Employee - Not too bright
Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major blunders yet
Active Socially - Drinks a lot
Character Above Reproach - Still one step ahead of the law
Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses
Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision
Plans for advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys/girls
Uses Logic on Difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it
Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English
Meticulous Attention to Detail - A nit picker
Has Leadership Qualities - Has a loud voice
Exceptionally Good Judgment - Lucky
Keen Sense of Humour - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
Career Minded - Back Stabber
Of Great Value to the Organisation - Gets to work on time
Relaxed Attitude - Sleeps at desk
Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does
Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else (thank god I'm no longer loyal!)
s.h.i.t..!
In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job,please see the manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.)
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T)
Since our managers took S.H.I.T, before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)
